It’s been a while since my last post, and it’s about due time to get many unorganized thoughts, hopes, and dreams out of my head and into the universe.
I’ve spent the last 3 years since I graduated college working diligently, carefully, and very hard to become something that I spent most of my college career trying to achieve; a career in Addiction Treatment Counseling.
I find myself 3 years later likening my experience as a counselor to a scene in a movie near and dear to my heart, 500 DaysTom (Joseph Gordon Levit) is invited to his hopeless love Summer’s (Zoey Daschannel) apartment for a party. The scene is split into two versions, “expectation” and “reality” where he imagines himself reconnecting with Summer and finding the love that he had always wanted with her. He is distraught after learning Summer has become engaged, and goes home; only to rekindle his passion for architecture and later find himself for what he truly is.
Addiction Treatment Counseling has become much the same for me. I have a love and passion for it, helping those in need, and the reward in doing so. However myself and the field are two things that are currently not meant to be. Instead of finding fire and fervor for something that I care deeply about, I find anxiety and disappointment around every bend.
As I walk up the preverbal stairs and enter Summer’s apartment, I have found my expectation to be far off from where the reality of this profession lies. Being a youngster in the field, one must adhere to many expectations that are not congruent with a twenty-something’s lifestyle, wants, or needs. At some point, I must have realized all of the stress that comes along with being a person whom directly influences the lives of others is something that I am not able to project with an honest and truly faithful heart at this time.
A career that helps people learn about themselves and become the best they can be to their families, employers, and most importantly themselves has taught me to do just that. I cannot pursue something that makes me feel as if I have sold my youth, social life, and countless other activities for a job in which I cannot completely subscribe to.
With this being said, it truly saddens me to leave a profession in which I’ve worked so hard to attain, but one must bow out when it no longer feels right and find another path to the fulfillment I am looking for in a career. Inevitably, I will return to the field. But with a few more years of life, experience, and a much straighter head on my shoulders.
Looking back on my experiences in the field have given me a true appreciation for what I have learned there, but more importantly what truly matters to me: music, writing, friends, and family. Having the energy (and free time) to focus on what I have realized are much more worth the focus has already given me much of the fulfillment that I had been seeking through my work. I have found my Autumn, and it is my twenties.